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No Victims. Only Players.

While there are many ideations attached to the word VICTIM this article is an examination of our identify to roles played out inside interpersonal communications. This also includes the behaviors thereto.

The word VICTIM is not in my dictionary. Anymore. When life experiences pounded on my door to change my viewpoint, the very idea of participating in the role of victim no longer fit. Or, was welcome.

When a person plays the victim, they seek to blame others. They make excuses. Play helpless. Say it’s out of their control. Is playing a character role on stage a choice? Yes. And so is choosing your role.

People are unaware they are victims.
We are typically guided by our own learned behaviors. Often victim roles were taught in families of origin.

While you can be a totally responsible person, you can also play the victim. Trust me. I played that role extremely well.

It was not until I grew weary of the same scenarios that I took a hard look in the mirror. My problem was being too responsible. Ironically my choice made me a victim to my own irresponsibility to myself. And, this enabling was a huge disservice to my others. In effect, I allowed others to pile their ‘stuff’ on me. I was misguided and actually believed my good intentions would be recognized, even appreciated. Thus, I became the perfect enabler. My illogic told me others would see my overburden, and would step up to do their part. But they didn’t. They never do. We always pair with another to recycle learned behaviors, until we learn.

It takes 2 to tango.
After awareness, I saw the steps leading into a familiar dance. Yet, just didn’t know how to modify my behaviors. Then it dawned on me with such sweet simplicity. And clarity. I had found it difficult to say NO—when I was taught from my crib to say YES. Then a revelation came when I claimed No- and No More. It was empowering! With MY boundaries defined, my relationships knew where their boundaries were set. My communication became definitive, clear, and absolute. No longer were opportunists sharing my life. Sure some left. No loss. Attrition happens when you grow up.

Victim-hood does not exist in responsible relationships.
Self responsibility is self love. And, belongs to YOU alone. Daily attendance to your thoughts and habits are required while integrating new patterns to become routine. It is easy to change a thought; but it takes discipline to change a habit. Catching old character traits in action and rerouting your behaviors is completely self-directed. Once you bridge to healthier relationships you will wonder whatever took you so long.

Copyright 2020. All rights reserved.
No reprints or copying without permission of the author, Patty Ann.

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Lucid Dreams: Our Conscious Awareness of Expansion

A lucid dream is one where you are aware of your dream state as it’s happening.  Very often, lucid dreams deliver the dreamer a message. Other times, the lucid dreamer is the messenger of the dream, to deliver to someone else.

Lucid dreams are a way others communicate even though you may not have interacted for years. These relations may want to thank or acknowledge you. Or just say a simple hello. Souls who come forth can be alive, or departed. Be our animals, or another embodiment such as our spirit guides. And even, visitors we do not know.

When your dream conscious mind recognizes you are experiencing a dream, you also awake to your active participation inside this looking glass. Lucid dreams can be premonitions; travel to other dimensions or lifetimes; and visits to the past and future. You can even astral travel to see your friends and loved ones in real time. Test it out. Set a dream intention before falling asleep. And upon waking, you are able to remember every detail; even the oddities that perplexed you inside your luminous state.

Dreams are often abstract. Our constructs result from how our brain and/or subconscious receives, then interprets the information. Therefore, often messages need to be untangled. Like a puzzle, pieced into place. This is the fun part. If your lucid dream includes another living person, chat with them. Most often they can help you figure it out. Or, fit the peculiar pieces together.

For instance. My son-in-law, Conner, had an owl dream he had to share with me. He was reticent to disclose the oddities in the dream. Why? Because in his immediate perception it was not only baffling, but downright weird. But, to me his dream revealed AWESOMENESS.

In short, Conner’s dream was about a very large robust owl who appeared, and towered over him. The owl was intense with intent. Before long Conner was carrying this owl, inside a package, as they went on a walk. That is where his dream ended. So Conner’s lucid dream became a journey because he was quite compelled to tell me. Yet he did not understand why. Until I then told Conner of my experience last year. Which happened to be just a month prior to when he married my daughter! We figured out all the nuances of his brief owl encounter, including that package he needed to deliver. It was very evident my Great Grey Owl was reaching out to me once again. To tell me he was fine, and even stronger than before. This was not the first time my friend reached out through another. But, it was the first time the Great Grey used a lucid dream to reconnect. And no less, on a night of a full moon! The miracle story of this Great Grey Owl is linked here.

Once you start having awareness inside your lucid dreams you will be captivated. Largely because you will discover other aspects of your soul self. And, you will open up other portholes of possibilities. In turn, your options for self awareness expands beyond limitless. Essentially, it is your own consciousness–along with the collective that recognizes itself in action. And so these interludes become magic in the making!

Having a lucid dream is a natural progression and evolution of our soul journey. Some may consider lucid dreams as a sign of evolving oneself from this 3rd dimension into the 5th dimensional beings we are destined to become. Oh MY! And guess what? My front door just blew wide open while typing this last sentence… to reinforce this point!? There are NO coincidences. Only synchronized junctions of harmonic agreements.

Experiment with your dream intentions prior to sleep. You can also arrange to meet someone in a dream. And together co-create a dream-escape–another stage on which to perform. It helps that your friend is not only receptive, but also has lucid dream awareness. Once upon a time, I had a co-conspiring dream friend. Made from inside creation itself, with our own conscious intent: our dreams manifested pure alchemy.

Lucid dreams are becoming prolific and the norm for many now. It is a gift. Threads strung from our own cosmic connections to expand our awareness during this unique sojourn. Unveil the mystery. And enjoy the enchantments that will surprise and delight you.

Click to Check Out All Topics in the Soul Self Series!

Copyright 2020.
All rights reserved.
No reprints or copying without permission of the author, Patty Ann.




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Did Mother Earth Arrange a Rest with Corona?

STOP. FOCUS. And BREATHE.
Inhale. Then Exhale.
In — Out — Slower.
In. Out. S-l-o-w-l-y. Deeper. 3 Times.
And RELAX.

Our Planet requires – needs a rest. We ALL Do.
Nature communicates with us constantly.
It is our job to listen. And, hear her voice.
What happens when children disrespect their parent?
Often, a time out is enforced.

Corona is not taking victims.
Nor is IT a random fluke.
It is a construct.
A natural consequence by design.
By which humanity co-created.

The question may not be how to stop the virus.
It may be how to stop ourselves long enough to reflect.
On stripping our planet of her protection; her skin of trees.
From mining earth’s belly of essential oils cultivated for herself.
And harvesting her oceans to depletion, using her as a trash bin.
Attending our mother, is simply called savvy self preservation.
The real question is: ARE WE GOING TO LISTEN TO OUR MOTHER?

Didn’t you feel the tension building?
The unease. The unrest. The energy chaotic?
Our complacent bubble about to burst?
The conscious souls did. But, we are in the minority.
We need 51% on board to tilt the tide.

So. Nature found a way to redirect us.
Stop us in our tracks. Interrupt the discord.
Perhaps, steer us back to basics. And to…
– Resurrect and reconnect our relationships.
– Quiet our minds to ascend our thoughts.
– Test our intelligence. Grow our soul.
– Encourage community. And responsibility.
– Restore us to caring and care-taking.

OUR planet is a connected, conscious living being.
She is allowing herself an intermission.
A space where we can redefine our priorities.
One more opportunity to examine and evolve.
The real question is: ARE YOU LISTENING?

STOP. FOCUS. And BREATHE.
Inhale. Then Exhale.
In — Out — Slower.
In. Out. S-l-o-w-l-y. Deeper. 3 Times.
And RELAX.

To help you refocus, check out: 9 Steps to Your Happy Spot

Copyright 2020 by Patty Ann – PattyAnn.net. Article Reprints Granted by Permission Only.

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Take the PET REMEDY to Refocus & Relax

As the fingers of the coronavirus reach out to impact our lives, much uncertainty abounds. Every industry and beyond is at an unprecedented crossroads considering what comes next. Among those affected are the thousands of school closures sending faculty, staff, admins, plus many more students home as a precaution.

In the midst of this confusion it’s prudent to be proactive.
Focus points of interest help children and teens, because (re)directing disquieting thoughts can turn into positive adventures. Thus, there is no better helper waiting than your family pets, large and small.


So what can you do as a parent, mentor, guardian or teacher?
Keep your students (or child’s) attention focused during times of unrest. And, one solution is to interact with animals! For many pet owners, nothing is more emotionally stabilizing- and healing, than the unconditional love offered by our pets. Or just as significant, times spent in nature observing and enjoying wildlife.

Offered here are some ideas, suggestions, and educational opportunities,
for students who may need a healthy diversion, or a schedule for stability:

  • Have children attend the family pet needs. Animal care tasks not only instills responsibility, it provides purpose and a secure place of belonging when routines are disrupted. Pet care should not stop at daily feedings. Have your child exercise the family dog(s), or play with their cat. This time is beneficial for both pets and their humans to decompress. Make sure to consider animal disposition to a child’s capability in terms of a good fit, so a positive outcome results in bonding.
  • Now may be the time to forgo the household ‘pet rules’. The unconditional presence of animals helps to absorb and quell angst. Allow the family dogs to cuddle on the couch with your kids. Or sleep in bed with them. Apply the same with cats. Although, often cats never wait for an invitation because they train us! 🙂
  • If you have farm animals, or have access to a neighbor’s ranch enlist their help. Often farm friend’s welcome help with feeding, stall cleaning, grooming and much more. There is an abundance of joy in the spring when kid goats, baby lambs, calves and foals are born. A fresh perspective is a true gift to give to a child. Along with the possibly of a new charge to look after, or even becoming a hired helper. It’s wise to call your neighboring farm first, before showing up on their doorstep!
  • Animal shelters and pet rescues welcome an extra set of hands. Many shelters need dog walkers, groomers, feeders and assistants. This is a perfect opportunity to expose students to other animal breeds, and possibly a future career. Wildlife sanctuaries specialize in a variety, or a specific species. From bobcats and bears, to raptors and birds of prey, or even possums, raccoons and skunks! Check shelter websites for visitations and volunteer policies before assuming they are open to the public during this time.
  • A simple bird seed- or hummingbird feeder hanging by a window can offer hours of restful watching. Wildlife happens everywhere if you look for it. Even in the city. Or propagated. Such as setting up a fish tank, getting gerbils or guinea pigs. As well, backyard chickens can supply fresh eggs! There are many animals waiting to provide charitable opportunities to humans needing a calm repose, relaxation, and/or renewal.

Often simple solutions are gifted to us from our 4 legged- or feathered friends. Animals impart healthy wisdom by living in the moment of NOW and ACCEPTING WHAT IS.
An excellent lesson at this time that we all should heed. Wendell Berry provides an appropriate summary to this article with his insightful poem, “The Peace of Wild Things”.

“The Peace of Wild Things”
by Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me and
I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light.
For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

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Copyright 2020 by Patty Ann – PattyAnn.net. Article Reprints Granted by Permission Only.

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Live Your TRUTH!

Living your truth means taking ownership of every facet of your being. It means being aware- and accountable for your thoughts in action. And how your behaviors impact others.

However, to acknowledge and embrace your feelings is the root of true healing. Ownership empowers yourself with choices that produce favorable outcomes. From this self-responsible point you enable appropriate interactions. And communicate with others through sharing perspectives–and with ease.

Living Your Truth means abiding by how you feel at all times. By allowing your emotional state to reveal itself, this opens a doorway to accessing your truth within; finding true happiness; and accepting what is.

To illustrate this perspective: I had a four year estrangement from my adult children after divorcing. Those years challenged my belief systems to great lengths and beyond. I constantly railed against the question of WHY? My children and I had always been very close. They even encouraged the divorce over the years. Yet when I enacted it, I became their nemesis. It took a long while to discover it wasn’t about WHY it happened. “IT” was about my evolution. (Years later the WHYs were revealed.)

During those estranged years, I had work to do on ME. Namely, about getting my learned behavior- and thought patterns rearranged. And so, I dove deep. Into my entrenched beliefs. One that embedded deep-seated patterns from my family of origin and white-washed into my own. This unraveled profound emotions I had long denied. In retrospect this time out afforded me to complete this critical task.

My generation of women grew up with expectations of our place in society; and in our families. It was one of subservience. We denied our own feelings. In putting others before ourselves we diminished our own self worth. Tradition held we followed in our mother’s footsteps. As independent, capable and accomplished as I had been in my life; I started over. Dissecting my beliefs one by one. Examining circumstances I helped co-create. Letting my feelings and emotions out of my box to explode.

There was no blaming anyone, but myself for how I felt. I had to own my enabling participation in this estrangement dance. And troll out my life long habits. There was one big lesson in the midst: my feelings were perfectly valid- and natural. They were mine. And not to be buried or denied anymore.

The gifts were great. In care taking my feelings my interactions changed with my children. However, living my own truth was not always easy. Even after reconciliation. It challenged all of us to transcend our old ways. To become the next best and higher version of our self.

Thereafter, I set firm behavior boundaries. For my own health.  There was no falling back to antiquated paradigms. No more blurred innuendos. No more allowing expectation setting from others. Adopting a self-less modality allowed cooperative conversations. Communication with clarity emerged. Owning my feelings meant I took responsibility. “I statements” explained clearly to others how I perceived their actions; and how it affected me. This act is powerful because it allows others the opportunity to reflect without blame. And hear your requests. “I Statements” are key to healing all communication upsets.

Years later my son told me that I had always put my loyalties to the family above my own happiness. His statement spoke truth. I knew this in my heart, but denied myself all along. Life lessons that slam hard are meant for us to take ownership. Of our behaviors and thinking habits that may no longer serve us. BUT! It is our feelings when acknowledged that will pave the way to our truths.

Changing life-long feeling denial takes practice to re-habituate. Use feeling-awareness to familiarize and rewire new habit patterns. Be cognizant that different situations will arise to test your new found truths.  Lessons will repeat in diverse ways until your psyche becomes accustomed to this new healthy normal. Learn to recognize the hooks. Don’t take them personal. Acknowledge and validate your feelings and emotions. And know that these synchronized ‘tests’ are reminders to help you live your truth.

Below are books that offer related perspective, guidance and support. (Covers are linked.)

Copyright 2019. All rights reserved.
No reprints or copying without permission of the author, Patty Ann.

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For the Love of Animals

Growing up dinners were meat and potatoes. Salad was a side dish. Tasteless iceberg lettuce leaves. And a dalop of bottled dressing. That is how it was.

Now my dinners are salads. Deliciously accessorized. With dried cranberries. Raisins. Almonds. Mandarin orange slices. Chopped apples, carrots and broccoli. The leaves are now spinach. Sometimes, its dabbed with dressing. Homemade.

Truth be Told-My Version

Writing an article of this nature was inconceivable 20 years ago. But personal journeys are too compelling to ignore. And this is one begs to shout out.

Lifetime habits and media marketing convinced me that our bodies would wither without protein. And meat was the only way to get it. Learned behaviors followed. Even raised my adult kids to follow suit. Hotdogs filled with animal beaks, feet, organs, skin. The left overs. The stuff that grosses us out. The jerky and pepperoni sticks. Then there was that Oscar Meyer Wiener Song. Still have that song stuck in my trained head.

Honestly I tried to cut down on meat consumption. “Try” is a word that means “Failed at”. When a spouse is a carnivore. When your children want to fit in. Foregoing meat is asking for a peer reduction. Now, it’s perhaps not as radically alienating as previous times. But people still raise eye brows when saying you don’t eat meat. It’s like announcing you are moving to the Arctic Circle. As in: Why would you do that? Lunch and dinner invites dwindle. It can make others feel uncomfortable. Often friends think us vegetarians are judging them. I don’t. Everyone has their own path for what is right for them. And I tell my friends this often. Even for other topics outside their meal habits.

For the Love of Animals?

My family of origin and the thereafter LOVES animals. We are fanatical about our four legged fur friends. We coddle, hug, and love on our pets. And adamantly claim our love for all animals. Then sit down to dinner and eat one. Somehow we justified this. Because it came wrapped pretty in cellophane. The true story of that cow we ate, was ignored. It never happened. It was easy to separate our fur babies out from those who really kept us alive. I began to wonder. How could I honor my own animals and not these others? Wasn’t it logical to have the same reverence for all animals? This challenging thought began banging around in my head.

Learned habits do not make conscious connections easy. Conduct has its own mindset to which we apparently are puppeteered. Once I entered solo living there came space to examine a whole lot in myself. Such as? My habits. Entrenched learned behaviors. False beliefs. And, ah–yes, robotic thoughts that lead to all that.

Really. I had longed to not eat meat. And. There was no more blaming a family that I no longer had. Morally, intrinsically it felt wrong to cannibalize another living being to use its “protein” to gratify my body. I mean: What was I thinking. More so, what had I been taught?

The Dawning of Differences

As I aligned consciously I began to taste differences. Namely between organic and store bought meats. The latter tasted plastic. As if fed filled with growth hormones or worse. I was aware of feedlots as a child. Specifically when my parents drove by that section on Highway 90. Staring out the back seat window I was horrified. Cows in dung filled lots waiting. Eating their own feces. Waiting some more. I wondered if they knew. It hurt my gut to look upon them knowing. And yet I ate meat. The veil pulled back over my eyes. As long as I chose not to see them as conscious living beings, cow eating was not a sin.

Human consumption of meat is voracious. And, nowadays at an all-time high. Meat animals are now processed no better than fast food. I often wonder if animal souls stand beside their abused bodies while waiting their execution.

Okay. I know about now I’ve lost readers. Maybe even some friends. But know this: I do NOT condemn anyone for the choices they make. I have many meat eating friends; including my children! Does that make them bad people? NO! Truth be told, I fall of my soapbox once in a blue moon. Evolution takes time. Rome was not built in a day.

Benefits Behold

While pursuing meat free sainthood I discovered amazing side effects. Namely for my health. A plant based diet afforded me far more energy than I ever imagined. Also, clarity of mind. Regular intestinal flow. Okay I’ll say it > BMs. Additionally, I by pass doctors. Haven’t seen one in years.

And to trump popular opinion, it IS less expensive to eat fruit, veggies, nuts, legumes. You’d be surprised where protein can be found in foods. Once I no longer visited the meat counter a whole new world of other foods appeared. Its abundant and plentiful.

World Concerns

Growing animals for food is not earth sustainable. The amount of land rape to accommodate harvesting meat has severe consequences to our climate. The sheer non-logic of what humans do is nonsensical. Humans are genetically designed for a plant diet. Why use an intermediary animal to process plants that are designed to go directly to us? Nowadays animals are not eating proper plant nutrients because they are abused for consumption. Pumped with hormones and faux foods. What is natural about this insanity? Do you realize growing plants vertically in buildings consumes far less resources and land?

The Contrast Continues

Sometimes I think animal consciousness will rebel and co-conspire to poison the human race. But in fact, it is humans who are doing it to themselves via an inhumane model!

This is not one of my soft and sweeter blogs. It’s blatant. I own it. But I do hope its enlightened you to eat less animal meat. Or to buy organic if possible. At the minimum bless and thank the animal you eat each and every time. After all a bit of good intention prevails over none at all. 😉

Copyright 2019. All rights reserved.
No reprints or copying without permission of the author, Patty Ann.

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Intentional Thoughts = Healthy Choices

Many of us grew up in a chaotic households fraught with severe dysfunctional patterns. As children we absorbed our parents behaviors; just as they followed their own parental upbringing. Once a child reaches the age of 12 these programs are implanted. We run this programming well into mid-life, re-playing scenarios as adults. Then events begin to call us to wake up. And question. And, if lucky, we begin the process of changing ourselves; namely how we think.

Just as our parents, and their parents before them, we adopted behaviors that seemed to work well for survival. There is no blame for the generational sins of our ancestry.
We did the best we could for who we were and what we were taught. We simply did not know any different. In fact. You could say: we are-were puppets mastered by our learned behaviors.

Many people continue to be puppeteered the rest of their lives. Why? Because often it’s easier to follow habits. And, not think about their thoughts…the same thoughts that control every aspect of their being.

To illustrate this point, lets examine those who have the incessant need to control others. An adult who controls others may have been a child growing up in a households riddled with systemic issues. One where typically there was no choice. Where respect meant following rules, and obedience to parents; however they conducted family affairs. Children are helpless. With no hope-, or even an inkling, of how to change or influence outcomes. Children typically have limited examples to live by. Thus, adapt and absorb, then live out a version of what was taught as right or wrong.

Many adults today control others. Perhaps they are making up for what they could not control as children. Or they lived with domineering parents and that is the behavior they mimick.  Yet it becomes a vicious, no-win cycle.

Society, corporate institutions, and households still hold fast to control as a means to self gratification. Many believe control over others still works. The contrast is blaringly loud. People know there is a better way and are rebelling. Unfortunately many continue to recycle the same antiquated control methods. However, truly, we can control ONLY ONE person: OURSELF. Becoming aware and aligning with a true intention – WE empower ourself.

Awareness is knowing there are consequences that arise from our thoughts in action. Being AWARE is taking personal responsibility; and knowing how our thought programs run our behaviors. Advanced awareness uses thoughts to correct thought patterns. AWARENESS is making conscious, intentional choices that create healthy outcomes.

Making a choice in good thought is not enough. NOW it’s about making intentional choices to bring about desired outcomes. This journey starts with YOU. Everyone has free will choice of thought. Everything we do every moment is a free will thought enacted.

The choice we have going forth is: Do we allow our programmed child minds to continue to recreate habits that no longer serve us? Or, do we take our God given right of free will thought, and help ourselves into a life of ease and grace?

My fascination with behaviors that stem from learned thought patterns instigated the LET YOUR SOUL SELF SPEAK OUT Series. Each lesson tackles a different topic. Formatted with Q&As and short subject synopsis, these mindful assessments are geared for individual self reflections and/or group discussions. Thought provoking, this series is designed for the classroom, as well as individual growth mindset development. Check them out!